Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Boys Will Be Boys

"Personally, I believe that both men and women are capable of great deeds and misdeeds, and that both sexes have contributed to the positive and negative conditions that exist in our civilization. To the extent that there are differences between the sexes, I do not believe that these differences make one sex better or worse, just different."
"In a postfeminist world the male gender role and men in general aren’t respected any more, and you’re not expected to be proud of being a man."
~Pelle Billing

"Generosity and gratitude are permanently paired. Those would-be etiquetteers who declare expressing thanks to be no longer required have done only half the job. They must also then abolish the custom of giving -- or, what always turns out to be the case with them -- accepting presents."
~Miss Manners

  I normally don't post my views on hot-button topics here, 
I really just wanted  a place to share the scraps I make for others to enjoy.  However, I have reached a point where I feel the need to speak out.  While I enjoy reading notes of thanks when someone likes my scraps, it doesn't bother me at all if someone downloads my gifts and doesn't leave a thank you note.  I know by the number of downloads that many do like them.  It does bother me  when people complain about gifts that are given freely. Not only is it rude and disrespectful, but could lead to the gift-givers to stop making and giving the gifts.  If you don't like something, just don't download it and move on.  

   It could also lead to censorship by those who host blog trains, or self-censorship for those who worry about offending someone. Who wants to take the time to make something only to have someone tell them they are wrong to make such a gift?  What joy is there in art if you're worried that everything will be taken the wrong way or criticized?   It's fine to mention things you would like to be added, but please don't tell people what they shouldn't create.

  There was some discussion on a blog train about the wisdom of saying such things as "boys will be boys."  To tell the truth, I made my boy brads after someone said we shouldn't be using phrases like that.  There were some who had made scraps with the boy phrases already, (and they were very cute!) and I made mine in support of those scrappers and in support of those who love their "100% boys phrases."  Someone made the comment that using phrases like "boys will be boys"  is toxic and can lead to excusing sexual assault.   Boys & girls are different, but so many today don't want to see that, or seek to change them.  Boy and girl brains are wired differently.  When boys are told that how they act (like boys) is wrong & a bad thing,  just what message are you sending these little ones?  I think maybe the ones who say such talk is toxic, automatically think that "boy" behavior equals bad behavior, when bad behavior has no gender.  Anyone can behave badly, common sense tells us that, but common sense seems to be in short supply these days.  All children should be raised to respect others, and respect those who are different, or have different views.  Words and phrases are not the problem, the problem is how people use them or view them.  Negativity can be found in anything if that's what you're looking for.  I wish more people would look for the positive in everything instead of the negative.   

  You're telling people it's wrong to celebrate the fact that their boys are in fact boys.  You're telling boys it's wrong to act in way that's natural for them.  Please don't teach boys to self-hate or feel guilty that they were born boys.  These days it's hard enough to grow up in a society where group-think and political correctness has run amock and there is zero tolerance to let just let boys be boys.  A lot of this is taught in many schools now.  One kindergarten teacher actually banned boys from playing with Legos as part of the fight for gender eqality!  Boys get in trouble for eating a pop-tart the wrong way, or using fingers as toy guns.   Girls are taught that they can be or do anything, and that's a good thing, but what message are the boys being given?  They're getting the message that they don't matter as much as girls do, and will lead them feel inferior and unloved.

  Let boys (and girls) know it's ok to be themselves.  It's very important to their self-esteem.  Here is an article that you should read, especially if you are one of those who think it's wrong to just let boys be boys, and think "boys will be boys" is a toxic thing to say. 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Very well said! As the mother of children of both sexes, I totally agree with your views.

  3. I totally agree! Thanks for posting.

  4. You are right, Arlene! I totally agree. Boys behavior is not BAD behavior...and a silly, sweet phrase has NEVER been an excuse for bad behavior. If someone uses it as an excuse that is their problem. Don't blame the sweet, innocent phrase. #rantover Thank you for your kindness and amazing generosity!

  5. I totally agree with you and could not have said this better.
    Thank you for your gifts you so generously give away.

  6. Arlene, I totally agree with your comments, I think too many young people are being screwed up by so called do-gooders. Let children be children. I have always liked the rhyme "Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails, That's what little boys are made of. Sugar and spice and all things nice, That's what little girls are made of."